I've been gone for a week. We went to my in-laws house for Christmas, and while I've occasionally logged in to track my calories online, I haven't had time to blog until today. Jeff and I got home from the other side of the state yesterday at 2 o'clock, and it started snowing, about 5 minutes before we got home. And it snowed for about 7 hours straight, and we got 5 inches of snow. The snow was lovely! I love snow!
For Christmas, my parents-in-law gave Jeff and I a Wii and a Wii fitness. It is soo much fun. I spent about 20 minutes playing the games on it last night and then my Mom and sisblings came over to play and we all had a hilarious time! There are some fun games on there! And in the program, it’ll do kind of a body analysis; weight and bmi, etc. And it’s very close to my scale, so I think it’s accurate. It said I now weigh 295!
So I lost weight over the holidays! And while yes, I did get sick, it was only for one night and a day, and after that time I ate pretty normally. Even if part of it was from being sick, I definitely lost something, which is pretty cool! We also watched Julie and Julia, which I really loved! Fantastic movie; made me tear up several times. But the hardest was when she found out her sister was expecting a baby, and as she’s crying in her husband’s arms, she says “I’m so happy for them”. I couldn’t sob out loud because the parents were right there, but Jeff quietly reached over and took my hand, it really did pull at my heart strings. In large part because I know exactly how she felt.
When someone tells me that they’re expecting, it hurts because it seems to come so easy for them, but at the same time, I am happy for them. I think I struggle with being gracious about it; like when they tell me, and I get the little pain in my heart, I know I could take the news better than I do. I’m not mean, but I think I do possibly act a little bitter. The problem there is that then they don’t want to tell me because they know that it bothers me. It seems to be a never ending circle, so I’m working on ending it.
Jeff and I talked and agreed that for the 3 (something) months, we’re going to focus less on getting pregnant, and more on losing weight, and getting a little healthier. I think it’ll help us both to not focus so much on it, but I have a tough time Not thinking about. How does a person do that? I mean, not only do we feel hormonal certain times of month, we have a regular monthly reminder about it. What can I do to help myself think about it less? I don’t know. And also, during that scene, it made me think about how hard it must be for someone who is expecting a baby to announce their pregnancy to someone who’s struggling with the trying to get pregnant. That has to be so hard. Anyways, I think that’s enough deep thinking for one day.
I'm Not Sure I Can Do This
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