Thursday, September 30, 2010

Sometimes I'm a slogger! (slacker blogger)

My gosh, I know I’ve been slacking on my blog for the last (almost) week, but I haven’t been slacking with exercise, so Yay! Eating is still a bit of a struggle, but I’m not giving up, so I know eventually I’ll get complete control of it. And sadly, AF is coming for a visit in the next day or so, so I have a feeling my weight will be up again, as happens every single time! But I’ll get back down again. I will!

So a great NSV happened the other day. I went shopping for some winter clothes, and found a bunch of them. I grabbed them all in 3x, because that’s the size that fit me, the last time I shopped. In fact I only found one shirt then that was a 2x that fit. Well into the fitting room I went and tried on all 8 shirts and 2 pants, and EVERY SINGLE ITEM (except one) was too big. Like way too big! So I got dressed again and had the sales lady find me everything in 2x, which all fits!!! I am officially (and excitedly) one size smaller now! I haven’t been in size 22 bottoms or 2x tops in several years, so this is FINALLY a real honest to God size change. Proof that I’ve finally done something right for myself!

Speaking of doing something right for myself, I made a pasta roni boxed meal the other day for dinner. Did you know, if you don’t add the 2 T. of butter, and use skim milk, it cuts the calories a huge amount. The box says if you prep it according to their directions, each serving will be 300 calories. A lot for a tiny pile of pasta, and so close to not being worth it. Instead, I did it the way I said above. No butter, and only ½ C. of skim milk (same amount of milk as box directions, just less fatty milk) and each serving was only 206 calories. While not the most nutritionally sound food ever, I felt it was much more reasonable, and made it so I could still enjoy something I used to enjoy. Seriously, it tasted exactly the same as before, just less greasy.

A blog that I read the other day wrote some questions that were thought provoking to me. What do you want to gain on your journey? What do you envision as your life, your body, your health in a year? Five years? Ten? Be honest. What do you *really* want? Being specific, in positives instead of negatives.

Well, I want to be healthier. More specifically, I want to be able to do physical activities without turning bright red in the face, and huffing and puffing my way around. I want to run a full 5k. I want to weigh less than 170 pounds (what I weighed in high school) before my 30th birthday. I want to wear size 10 clothes. I want to get a tattoo, that won’t look funny as I age. I want to get my belly button pierced, and having a flat stomach, it will actually be visible. I want to be fit with great arms and a great butt. I want to do it against a wall with my hubby.  Are those specific enough?!? I will have these things and experiences someday, and I am going to be soo proud of what I have accomplished, and seeing them written down, and picturing my future accomplishments makes me that much more determined to follow.

What about you?

Friday, September 24, 2010

Having the control to avoid temptation gives great power.

I weighed myself this morning for my weekly weigh-in and am down 2.8 pounds, to 271.6 pounds!!! Finally, a loss that you can actually bite into! I’ve been doing really well this week, eating-wise and have even tracked everything, and have exercised every day since starting the 30 days of exercise challenge on (I think) Tuesday (also the day my hubby called to tell me he was proud of me!). I am finally feeling back in control!

When I got back from lunch today, there was a bag with 4 Otis Spunkmeyer chocolate chip cookies sitting on my desk. Some guy dropped them off, trying to get a contract with his company and not realizing that I’m not the right person for that. So as I’m sitting here, trying to ignore them, I’m about to give in, but first I look up their calorie count on SparkPeople, and actually, since the cookies are small, each one is only about 44 calories each. But I didn’t want to do that, especially since I’ve been doing so well with eating healthy.

The guy next door came in to use my copy machine, and I offered them to him, but he gave me a roundabout story of the chocolate bliss bomb his wife made for him last night, and he didn’t need more today. Then I hear someone walking up the hall. It’s *Hannah, who is very skinny, and would likely be unhurt by 4 small cookies. And I learned that she’ll do just about anything for chocolate chip cookies! Well, I didn’t make her do anything, except get them out of my office. Temptation averted!!!

Have a great weekend!

*Names protected for privacy

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Exercise for today

Was feeling very lazy but walked for 5 minutes. That is all.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Only a few minutes, so this is short

Quick one before bed; I did Leslie Sansone's 2 mile video, about 30 minutes, broke a sweat, and I stayed in my calorie limit today!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

If you can believe it...

I completely missed Biggest Loser!!! I planned on watching it, but I forgot and went to hang out with my niece and nephews, and by the time I realized Biggest Loser was on, it was already 9pm. I didn’t want to start in the middle, so I’m gonna wait until tomorrow and Jeff and I can watch it on the computer. I might even have to skip over some people’s blogs so I don’t learn what happened.

So in line with this challenge, I did my water aerobics last night, and tonight, while I didn’t do a video, I decided to clean the kitchen for my exercise. I cooked and froze some cauliflower, and cleaned the fridge and broke a sweat, which is great! I also went shopping and got a lot of great, healthy stuff!

I also beat the beast tonight! I stayed within and even on the low side of my calories tonight. I was moaning to Jeff last night that I can't seem to get control of my eating, and today, he called me at work and told me how proud of me he is, that I've already lost 40 pounds, and since I got control of myself before, I can do it again. It was the sweetest thing! And I think it helped that I wrote on my hand "Jeff is proud of me!" What a great guy I've got!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Feeling a little blue...

This weekend went by so quickly! I’m feeling kind of depressed because I won’t really get to see Jeff much until Wednesday night. And because he’s gone I have a hard time falling asleep, so I’ve been staying up until he gets home, and then I end up short on sleep, but I don’t think there’s any way around it. I’ve even taken my melatonin (which helps me sleep) earlier by a half hour or so and it still didn’t do any good.

So on my drive to work this morning, I decided I need to start taking my D vitamin (helps with S.A.D. which I seem to deal with in the Fall and Winter) and exercise regularly, simply because lately I think I’ve been more and more depressed. A part of that is my job. I am at the point where I really almost hate it which is sad because it’s actually a good job and quite enjoyable, but the part I hate is that I am very taken advantage of there. There are about 3 people who work in a completely different department, who are constantly coming up to my office and handing me projects (their work projects, that they get paid for) to do for them. They don’t ask, they just assume I’ll do it, and that’s it. And until a month ago, I couldn’t complain to my boss because they asked her and she said yes, but I got at new boss at the beginning of the month, and I’m just giving her some time to settle in before talking to her about it. Until then however, I so don’t want to go to work. I know it sounds like I’m complaining about nothing, but I’ve always thought that when you’ve been working for a place for 4 ½ years, and signed on under one job description, and then they pile on a lot of extra responsibility, you deserve some extra compensation for that, and a little appreciation. Ugh, I’m just frustrated. And now I’m done venting.

On to the good stuff; I didn’t do well eating this weekend, at all! But I did keep track of it, so I know how bad it was. What is it that makes you eat poorly, all the while telling yourself you need to stop, you don’t need to eat that, you’re not hungry, etc?

So, Liz at Life in Liz's Shoes issued a challenge which I’ve taken her up on. For the next 30 days, starting today, I will work out in some way, every single day, and will blog. Even if it’s a two sentence blog, I will blog. I’ve never been very good at following through on challenges, but I plan to change that, and what better time than today, or this month, when I know I need to get back on track anyways? I’m gonna do it and I’m gonna do great!

I came across this YouTube video this morning, and it really made me want to get on track. Check it out. It is so motivational!

Is anyone excited about the newest Biggest loser season starting tomorrow? While I don’t think it’s quite so healthy to lose so much weight, so fast, and that they seem to forget that the mind needs to be re-taught healthy eating, I do enjoy the challenges. Watching people accomplish activities that they never thought they’d be able to do is amazing to me. I just know I’m gonna need a box of Kleenex on the coffee table, but I’m really looking forward to the show.

And last, I’ve decided to buckle down and do the Beck diet solution again. Since it works through cognitive behavioral therapy, and really helped me to get started on my weight loss a year ago, I know it can be effective. And it really does help to re-teach my mind about healthy eating, and how to control myself with emotional situations. I made a goal to be at 250 pounds by the new year, and I am going to get there.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Such a busy week!

Whew, it’s kind of been a crazy week, and I keep forgetting to blog.

I read this quote on someone’s blog today, and it is such a true statement. WHEN IT COMES TO THE SCALE, YOU WILL ALWAYS GET THE WEIGHT YOU DESERVE. JUST NOT NECESSARILY ON THE WEEK YOU WANT IT. Crazy thought, but so true. I did gain this week, but it’s nothing less than I deserve, after all, I know I’ve been slacking in the eating and exercise areas, and can’t really expect a loss, can I?

I’ve done better, though not spot on with my tracking this week. Eating not so much, though I have been exercising and the amount of calories burned still exceeds the amount I ate, so that’s a good thing, though not quite the progress I was looking for. My weigh-in today said 276 pounds. I think it’s actually a little up due to other things, like my picking up exercise again, etc.

I found a great workout routine on SparkPeople called the Bikini workout. Not that I actually intend to be in a bikini anytime soon, but it’s actually a workout I can do. I am able to complete each exercise, which is a totally new thing. Too often, I come across a workout that looks good, but in reality is beyond my current capabilities. This workout has me do 15 reps of about 10 exercises for one set. It says to do 3 sets but I’m not able to yet, so this week, I’m doing one set several times (in the week). Then next week, I’ll do two sets, and three the following week.

I’m also debating picking up jump rope. I got it out a week ago, and could only jump about 10 times in a row before tripping up. I remember when I was a kid and jump roping all the time, everywhere. And I could go forever. Now I can barely do it at all. And that’s not even to mention the pain of things bouncing really far. Things that should not be able to bounce up that far. So I’m aiming on making myself jump for 1 minute. So it I trip up, I have to keep on trying until I get to a minute. And I’m going to wear a stomach (and other things) sucker in thingy to hold things in more tightly.

My sister Lisa is still suffering from the headache she’s had for 8 weeks now. She’s seen so many doctors and had so many tests, and still they’re not able to pin anything down. She’s trying something new this week, to see if it makes any difference. Anyways, she was supposed to run a half-marathon at the beginning of October. She knows she won’t be able to run it anymore, so she’s now going to do the walking part of it. Unfortunately she isn’t really able to stand for more than an hour, tops and she likely won’t be able to walk for nearly that long. She decided she’ll have to get a wheelchair for when she’s tired, and my 3 other sisters and I each volunteered to take a leg, and get her to the finish line. I’m glad to be able to support her, more than anything, but I know how excited she was to run this, and to have to go over the finish line in a wheelchair is a tough pill to swallow. If you will, please keep her in your prayers.

Oh yeah, and in regards to the critter in the shed last week, we never did figure out what it was. I think he found a way out, so I’ll never know.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Crazy animals!

Whoo hoo! My weight is down, albeit only 0.2 pounds, but nonetheless, it is a loss, and I’m happy to see the scale going in the right direction!

I’ve tracked my foods fairly well for the last couple of days. I’ve noticed that I do fine tracking in the day, but when it comes to evening, I slack. I’ve been putting it all into Spark People’s food tracker, which is fairly easy to work with once you mess around with it enough and learn how it works. Last night, I stayed within my limit, until I went to my Moms and had a glass of apple cider. Although, I figure it is 100% real apple cider, made by my aunt, so no added anything, so it was good for me nutritionally including extra vitamins. Yay! I didn’t add it to my tracker though. I can’t seem to find actual nutritionals for real fresh fruit juice with no added anything. Oh well.

Jeff and I live out in the country, in a house surrounded on all four sides by fields. Our nearest neighbor is across the street and down about 100 feet, although he recently passed away. So being out in the country, we deal with a number of wild animals, like skunks and raccoons, and did I mention skunks? I’ve lived there for nearly 6 years now, and have gotten skunked* so many times, I can’t even count. And over those same years, I have caught somewhere in the area of 35 skunks in our trap. 35 skunks!!! And they fight with everything!!!

*Skunked: When a skunk sprays near or on your house, making everything smell like skunk and nasty for a few days.

Well the landlord has a huge shed on our property for his farm equipment, combines, tractors, etc., and had left the huge door open for about 2 weeks, inviting any and all crazy animals and human’s to move in. And something did. Unfortunately then he closed the door, and accidentally trapped something in there. For the last couple of nights I’ve heard something moving around in there, although we didn’t realize what or where it was, and couldn’t pin down where the sound was coming from until last night. Whatever it is, it’s big. The way things were banging around in there, I’m thinking a large skunk or raccoon. So we got out our handy dandy trap and Jeff’s standing behind me (he was using me as a shield, if you can believe it! What a mensch.) with the two small flashlights; he was supposed to be shining them where I could see. And there I’m standing, trying to figure out how I can slip this trap into the door without some animal flying at me from the darkness.

I finally manage to get the door open and I’m banging on the shed to “hopefully” keep him away from me, but then, the trap snaps shut! I had to step in a little bit, still banging crap into the shed for noise to reset the dang thing. The second I had it done, we were out of there soo fast,. Ugh, I think the adrenaline rush gave me the headache I had for awhile after that. So I didn’t exercise last night, although I had been so determined to.

True story, not an excuse for not exercising. :)

Thursday, September 9, 2010


We had a really good time on vacation. My hubby and my cousin drove down early in the day on Friday (with my cousins daughter) to get us a good camping spot and get everything set up. Then after my cousins wife and I both finished work, we picked up their baby and drove to central Oregon together as well. We ended up not arriving until 11:30pm, and so missed the scenery of most of the drive, though I did get to see it on our way back out again.

I did ok eating-wise over the weekend. I don’t know what it is about camping that makes a person graze so much. I know there’s a lot of extra food hanging around, but not that much, and yet I snacked big time on Fruit Loops and Doritos. The good part is that we got quite a bit of exercise on Saturday, which hopefully helped. There were several times I wished I’d brought my pedometer so I could track how many steps I took, but I unfortunately forgot. We ended up walking 2 miles to the store and back, half of it along sand which takes a little more effort. Then we walked up to see the lava flows probably a mile total, then later that day we checked out the lava tubes, where lava had flowed when the volcanoes were really active in this area. Besides being a great workout, I learned so much! I’ve always loved history and really enjoyed this trip!

Our only complaint really was that it got so cold at night. Both Friday and Saturday nights, we slept really poorly because it was so cold. (Jeff and I were even sleeping in our van and it really didn’t help at all). When we went down to lower elevations to get cheaper firewood at a store, we discovered that both nights the temperature had gotten below freezing. No wonder none of us adults slept well. After talking about it, A LOT, we all agreed to get a hotel room for the last night. It wasn’t really wimping out, so much as getting ourselves and the two babies out of the frigid cold for the last night. But I’ve really gotta say that shower and warm room were amazing. Such a relief, when I couldn’t seem to thaw out otherwise.

And on the home front, one of my sisters asked me and Jeff if we’d be interested in getting a roommate again. Apparently one of her friends is separating from her husband and needs a place to stay. So after talking it out, we decided that we were amenable to the idea. We’re just going to make sure that all three of us talk very thoroughly about our expectations, etc. I’ve met her before and she’s really nice so I think we’ll probably get along fine. Another positive is that we’ll be able to save a little more money again, instead of struggling every month to make the ends meet. All in all, I think things should work out this time. [keeping fingers crossed]

Friday, September 3, 2010

Just for fun

I was tagged in this question game by Shrinking Blubeari. Thanks!!! What a surprise that was. And since I still have a whole hour and a half of work before I get to leave on vacation, this is gonna help me pass the time!

The questions she passed on are:
1. What has been the most effective weight loss tool for you?
I think that writing down eerything that I eat has been the most effective tool. I find that when I consistently write in my journal, or log foods in SparkPeople, I lose weight. I imagine this is part of why I've been struggling with this plateau. I haven't been faithfull jotting everything down. I would definitely encourage that for others who are trying to lose weight.

2. Have you tried any 'diets'? Which, if any, has been the most successful?
I can honestly say the only "diet" program I've every tried was weight watchers. When I started working on my health and losing weight, I tracked into SparkPeople, and educated myself, then about 4 months in got a subscription to WW, mostly for support. Despite being overweight for most of my life, I never seemed to have it in me, to be on a diet. I wanted to, and even sometimes planned to, but never actually did it.

3. Do you remember the first blog you followed?
That would be Lyn from Escape from Obesity (she's amazing!) and PastaQueen. Both have lost a large amount of weight (which is a large part of why I relate to them) and have a writing style that I can read and not be driven crazy by. :)

4. What was your biggest loss for a week/month/ however long between your weigh ins?
My biggest loss ever was my very first week of tracking my foods in SparkPeople. I lost 6 pounds that first week. The second biggest loss was the first week I joined weight watchers, a loss of 4.4 pounds. See a pattern here? Think I'd learn?!? Nope.

5. Coffee or tea? And for either one, what is your favorite?
Ugh, really really don't like coffee. So I guess tea, but I rarely drink it. Mostly when the weather's cold and I want something comforting. Otherwise it's water or milk(3 a day!).

6. Who took your 'before' and progress pictures?
My sister Maria age 17 has the camera. I felt so unattractive in those pictures, but felt comfortable having her take them. When I lose my first 50 pounds, I plan to have her take 2 new ones.

7. What will be your final reward when you reach your goal weight/ other goals?
Hmm, I'm not 100% sure yet. I have several ideas that appeal to me. A whole new wardrobe; a tattoo; a make-over; a weekend trip to the beach. Lots of ideas, but I don't know what I'll actually pick until I get there. Sadly, using one as a motivator doesn't really work for me.

8. What is your favorite breakfast?
Well, this one required alot of thought. I usually have to make myself eat something in the morning, because I never get hungry until 10-ish or lunchtime, so I don't really have a "healthy" favorite. If I eat first thing in the morning, I get awful stomachache and cramps on my drive to work. Really painful way to start the day, so I mostly avoid it. These days I eat a yogurt around 10am, but I did like when I made myself a smoothie in the morning. It didn't rub so badly against my poor stomach. One of these days I'm going to make a green monster smoothie.

Anyways, to answer the question truthfully, my favorite breakfast is the whole sausage, bacon and eggs, pancakes and hashbrowns and orange juice deal. You can see why I didn't mention it first. I haven't had that in a year, at least.

Weekend, Here I come!!!!

Last year at this time, I weighed 315 pounds. I desperately wanted to lose weight, but since I'd never dieted before, I wanted to know everything I could to give myself as much success as possible. I started researching everything I could find, anywhere I could find it (books at the library, bookstores, blogs, internet) to learn as much as I possibly could need to know about how I was going to lose weight. I did this for a month before I actually started tracking my foods on SparkPeople and lost weight.

Looking back on it, I think this is part of the reason that the last year has been successful for me. I planned way ahead, and didn’t set an actual start date. I only made it a point to research and learn everything I possibly could and when it felt right, to apply my newly acquired knowledge. I think slowly between those times, I started (unintentionally) using some of the little tips I’d learned, so that I was already learning slightly better habits.

My official weight this morning (and I’m going to take it and run this week) is 274.6 pounds! Over the last two weeks, it’s a loss of about 3.8 pounds give or take a couple because of the scale difference, but definitely more reasonable than the 264 I got last week. LOL. So my total loss is finally at 40.4 pounds. In about a year. While it doesn’t seem like much, I am still in the 200’s, I am still less heavy than I was then, I am still working on being healthy. I would like to double the amount for the next year. That would put me just below 200, into onederland. Around 194.6 pounds. Wow, it seems crazy to say it, because I haven’t been there since high school, a little over ten years now, but I’m going to be there! I’m excited for that.

We’re leaving for camping tonight, and I am really excited! We’re going to central Oregon somewhere (the guys are deciding and then us girls are meeting them there when we get off work), some lake, and I’m planning on having a great time! I brought my tennis shoes and workout clothes, because I figure, as much as I really hate it, I’m going to do a bunch of walking if I can to get my exercise in, and make up for possible overeating.

We split the meals between us, and I made several healthy choices for ours. I cut up a bunch of carrots and celery to snack on. I packed steak, potatoes, green beans and light sour cream, one healthy cereal and one sugary one, skim milk, regular bagels but low-fat cream cheese. I’m also planning on making campfire calzones, where you stuff your calzone, wrap it in tinfoil and stick it near the fire to bake. I got lots of vegetables cut up for those, as well as turkey pepperoni (only 70 calories for 16 slices) and low-fat cheddar cheese. (I’ve been looking for low-fat cheddar for the longest time, but as far as I can tell since I found it last night, it only comes in bags shredded, which is fine for my purposes. I’m hoping it tastes good.) So I’ve got a bunch of healthier choices that makes eating this weekend a little bit better and still fun for me.

I hope you’ve got something fun planned for the long weekend! Have a good one!

Here's where I'll be:

Thursday, September 2, 2010


The reason there has been no blog this week is that there is nothing to write about. I haven’t exercised this week, at all. My eating has been only ok. The weekend was horrifying, but the last couple of days have been more reasonable. I haven’t tracked much this week at all. I tracked the horrifying-ness that was Saturday and Sunday, and then stopped for Monday and Tuesday, which was probably fine as I didn’t do that badly. I feel like I’ve got the motivation, just not, apparently, the self-control. Weird. It also doesn’t help that Jeff was gone and I was lonely. I can’t seem to bypass the overeating on those nights.

Anyways, I’ve been busy preparing for our camping trip this weekend. I’ve got my shopping list, my personal packing list, our couple packing list, our food packing list… AND we have to get it all together tonight. I hate being a procrastinator, but I can guarantee you if I had packed them early, I would have arrived this weekend missing several necessary items and then I’d’ve been pissed off.

I’m going to weigh-in again tomorrow morning. My weights this week have been more reasonable than that nearly impossible weight I got last Friday morning. I imagine tomorrow will be more normal, but I will let you know.

I won a gift card from another blog that I read and found out this morning, Thanks Ericka!!! I am totally stoked! What will I buy?!?!? So many options, so many fun things I can just see collecting in my house. Oh, I can’t wait!

An last, please keep my little sister in your thoughts and prayers. Her gp was on vacation from the beginning of this whole thing, and when he got back, saw her and said he thinks she has Lupus. (Just from googling it, I’m hoping that’s not it) He did a 6 or 8 panel blood test to determine whether that’s correct or not and the results of the first two that came through said it’s not. But there’s still several more results to hear, and I think she’ll be getting them today. Part of me hopes it’s it because then at least she’d know, but the other (and larger part) wishes it wasn’t because there is no cure, no real treatment to heal the disease, only the symptoms. It’s a real conundrum.