The happy, the sad, the tired.

You know you didn’t get enough sleep when you’re lying in bed at 7:45 in the morning, and thinking about how nice it’ll be to go to bed tonight. LOL, that was me. I kept having all kinds of weird dreams, then I got a stomach ache. I swear, I must’ve woken up 15 or 20 times. Then when my first alarm went off, I turned it off, and changed my second alarm (the one I actually have to get up for) for 5 minutes later. I swear, those 15 minutes were the best minutes of sleep I got last night!

On to the better stuff, my mini goal last week was to use all of my activity points in one week, especially since I hadn’t been using many of them before that. As of today, I have used 21 activity points. I’m not going to get to the 28 like originally planned, as I did take one day off. However, tonight after my weight watchers meeting, I think I’ll knock 5 more of them down. For me, this has been pretty successful. I have exercised 6 out of the last 7 days. I’m tracking calories (for fun) and points and have been within my calorie limit 5 out of the last 7 days.

I’m looking forward to the meeting tonight, mostly for my weigh-in. I don’t think there’s going to be a huge dent, but there should be a slight loss, which is better than nothing at all. I’m also finding that I really enjoy the group that I meet with. It’s very light and supportive. The people know each other and have obviously known each other a long time. There’s a relationship and a bond which it really fun to watch. A couple of times, I went to the one at 5:30 and there was such a different dynamic. No one volunteered anything during the meeting, they didn’t really socialize (which the others do), and for some reason, when I want to use one word to describe the group, it would be dark. It’s very strange, but when I compare both in my head, that’s the biggest difference.

I’ve recently noticed that I’m losing friends. Mostly, they just got married and don’t have time to socialize, or they have small children so getting together with them to do something is a pain because they have to find a babysitter and the sitters constantly back out. It’s really hard to nurture a friendship with someone who’s at a different point in their life. There are so many different things they have to deal with. So I’d been looking for friends, people who are like me, who wouldn’t mind a work-out buddy, or someone to hang out with, and I have to say, finding them is a lot harder than I thought it’d be.

It started with Trish, a girl I met at our local clothing swap. We were a lot alike and started exercising together, and hung out a couple of times. But then I discovered that she was VERY negative, and her attitude about her marriage was very sad. I couldn’t hang out with her. Every time I did, she brought me down and that’s really tough. After that, I joined a weight loss group, which had 7 members or so when it started, and about 3 weeks in, it was only me and the leader, so that one went down in flames. Then when I started weight watchers in January, there were 2 women my age that seemed friendly, so we made a date to meet at the track and exercise. I showed up. They didn’t. They never so much as contacted me again, and only one of them has gone to the weight watchers meeting again (one time). It really makes me examine me. Am I overbearing? Or maybe intimidating? Too controlling? Or do I just keep trying to cultivate a friendship with the wrong people? I don’t know. I know I’m not demanding, but I am a decision maker, and if someone is wishy-washy, I tend to jump in and make a decision. I always figured that if someone doesn’t like the decision I made, they can say so and I’m flexible and willing to do what they want. But I never had anyone say that was a problem.

Jeff recently told me about a friend of his at school who is a lot like me. He says he thinks we’d get along great, and she says her husband’s a lot like him. It would be really great to have a couple to go camping with, etc. But first, I have to get him to actually stop TALKING about doing something, and DO something. I just know it’d be a lot of fun to hang out with a couple that wants to hang out with us. Hopefully, he’ll do that soon. I’m feeling really left out. :(