Wednesday, May 12, 2010

My first binge since this journey began 1 1/2 years ago.

I had my official weigh-in last night, and my current weight is 289.2. I gained 3.8 pounds, and actually expected it. Unfortunately. Here’s why.

This weekend, Jeff and I both had a couple of drinks on Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday afternoon. Typically, I don’t drink this often, but this weekend was obviously different. And I think it helped derail my weight.

On Mother’s day, I did fairly well eating. Or at least better than I used to. But I didn’t track at all. Then on Monday, I wrote that I was going to post what I eat in my blogs because it holds me to an accountability that I need. However, on Monday night, I had my first binge since I started working on my habits. It’s been probably a year and a half since that’s happened. And while I won’t bother to write down what I ate here (Believe me, I’m accountable), I will tell what happened.

On Monday, the evening was a ltitle different because of our schedule, so I decided that I was going to stop by McD’s and get a salad. I rarely ever eat there, but when I do, I always get it healthified. Anyways, when I pulled up to the speaker, I had a car in front and behind me, and as I went through my wallet, I realized I only had $3 and no debit card, which isn’t enough to get the salad. So instead of just driving through and going elsewhere, I ordered a McChicken sandwich and one of the snack wraps, figuring it would be enough.

I went home and ate it, and even though I was mostly full, I felt deprived because I hadn’t wanted to eat what I did. Sounds kind of skewed I know, but it kept nagging at me so much that after Jeff went to bed at 8, I drove back to town and stopped by Taco Bell where I got more food (that I actually wanted), and ate it all. The sad part is that it made me feel really uncomfortable in my stomach, just really full.

I wasn’t happy, and knew that eating like that is what got me here in the first place, and I was even trying to talk myself down on the way home from TB, but none of it worked, and when I got home, I ate everything, even though after I’d finished most of it, the rest looked unpalatable to me. I still haven’t figured out what the whole thing was about, but one thing I have learned from it is to not waste calories on things I don’t like, or don’t want to eat, as I did with the McD’s food. I didn’t want it. It didn’t look good, and it wasn’t what I was hungry for, but I did it anyways and took in a huge deal more calories than I would have, had I initially gone to Taco Bell or somewhere else. So, here is me being accountable. I don’t like the entire situation, but I need the accountability.

So here’s what I ate on Tuesday:
Yogurt 160
Whole Wheat English muffin 130
Butter 102
Banana 125
Soup 100
Cheese Stick 80
V8 30
Carrots 55
Dinner at Mom’s (My sister’s birthday)
3 oz. pork 169
½ C. stuffing 80
1 small roll 75.4
2/3 hot dog 84
1 oz. corn casserole 79.2
¼ C. brown rice 54
2 C. orange juice 219
1/16 slice cake 117.4
½ pear 15
¼ oz. cheese 15
GRAND TOTAL: (drumroll please!!!) 1689.6 calories and 34 points exactly!

This evening I am going to the water aerobics class, which is soo much fun! And one of my friends there in that class kind of dared me to do a cardio dance class with her, so that’ll be right after the water class. Should be lots of fun!


  1. I feel like a victim on those days too.

    You sound like you've made the shift in thinking that is needed for a long happy healthy life.

  2. Even though a binge isn't the ideal situation, obviously, I commend you for getting right back on track the next day & logging your food! At least this didn't turn into a week-long (or longer) binge! I've been there before though, where I've not been able to get what I really wanted, ate that, then went out and got what I really wanted. It was bad news! Next time you'll do better!