And.....

Despite my lack of progress over the weekend, I weighed in at 290.4 pounds last night! It's a loss of 1.8 pounds! And I wanted to see what my scale says so I know how close it is, and it's almost exactly 2 pounds less. Consistently. Which means I actually started this journey at 315 pounds, not 313. No biggie, but it's good to know how far I've come. I'm back down to the 25 pound loss, which is pretty cool. And only 6 pounds away from 10% weight loss! So cool!

Yesterday, after I blogged, I decided to spend some time and thought on ways to remind myself to continually eat better. I came up with a list of short-term goals, and long term goals. Here's my list.

SHORT-TERM GOALS
Exercise today
Make dinner tonight
Pack my lunch for tomorrow
Track my points today
Track my points this weekend
Lose 5 pounds

LONG-TERM GOALS
Run in a 5k
Lose 158 pounds & get to the weight of 155 pounds
Become a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers

And I stuck 3 of them around the house in places that I think I should see them. Like one's on the fridge, one's in the living room, and one is in our bedroom right by the door, so that I will look at it on my way out of our room. It worked this morning, so hopefully that'll be a good idea.

Last night, we watched Biggest Loser and I realized I'm still pretty perturbed at the way John split up the teams and stacked them for him. The poor black team really doesn't stand much of a chance because they have alot less weight left to lose as opposed to the blue team. The part that bothers me, is that while yes, it is a game, ALL of those people are there to change their lives. They want to lose weight and be healthy. That is their primary reason. But then you put someone like John there, who decides that he doesn't care about giving the others a chance to lose weight; he just wants to win the game. Ugh!

And speaking of Biggest Loser, they're doing auditions in Portland at the end of the month. My sisters mentioned it to me, and kind of talked me into it, and so I said I'd go, and then my wonderful husband said on his own (no hinting or anything from me) that he'd go with me and try-out too. I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about it. I really REALLY don't like Jillian. Even Jeff said he could see me punch her in the face for getting in my face. LOL. I like the premise of the show, but they're definitely leaning towards the drama (gotta keep their viewers somehow), and drama really annoys me.

It also seems to me that the people have been more and more laden with medical issues due to obesity, which I don't struggle with. Jeff does, more with fertility issues, but for the most part, I'm just fat. The other thing I question; if they do want me, are they going to tell me to not lose any more weight before the show? Because that's not something I'm willing to stop doing. I'm living a healthier lifestyle now, than I ever was, and I'm not going to go back to where I was for a TV show.

I'm probably over thinking it, but I want to have all of these questions now so I can ask them later. I don't quite know what to think about it yet. I'm thinking I'll go to the audition, and if they actually call me to do it, then I'll decide if I actually want to do it. In the meantime, I'm going to continue to work on my weight and getting healthier.

My grandpa passed away on Monday morning. The thing is, I barely knew him. He's my Dad's dad, and lived in Puerto Rico and New York all his life, while I always lived in Oregon. I met him, about 4 times total. He was such a sweet man, but I don't remember hardly anything about him from when he came to visit. What memories I do have are tempered by stories I've heard from others. I want to imagine he sang a song to me, but he sang it to my aunt, and I can only picture it. From what I know, he had a great sense of humor too.

What makes me especially sad now is that I'll never have the chance to get to know him. I'll never have a chance to hear the stories from his past, and to learn my history from him, and now, it's gone. That side of our family never (as far as I know) talked about their past, and so nothing has been passed on.