Tuesday, January 5, 2010

S.A.D. my mother and my moods

I got off work yesterday, and while driving home became soo moody. I do know why; it was a pity party for one in my car. I've been ridiculous and it isn't even over the fertility stuff. But I did make it through it, and when I got home, tried to refrain from snapping at Jeff. Who, when he saw I was moody didn't say much, but went and got me a B vitamin (my miracle drug of choice LOL) which always evens out my moods. Poor guy. I really feel sorry for him when I'm like that. And yet, I can't seem to understand how to control it, except to take more vitamins.

In my family, the women tend to be short on our B's, so most of us end up taking extra to be normal and not moody. Then on the way home, I stopped by subway and got a healthy delicious sandwich piled in spinach for dinner. I remained under my calorie limit by about 50 calories. YAY! Then, I got on our Wii Fit and played a bunch of games for 36 minutes. Broke a sweat, and in one of the games jogged for about 5 minutes straight, which was great! I definitely felt worked out. And I had a blast doing it! The other day when Jeff and I were making our Mii characters, my Mom was over with my sister and when I casually mentioned my goal weight (which is 170), she immediately had to jump in and say that's not low enough for me.

I told her I'm big boned, and I don't know if I'll be healthy below 170, however once I'm there, I will adjust again, if I feel like it. And then she decided that I'm not big boned and I should be able to get to 140. Well, 140 is what everyone puts my weight goal at because I'm 5'6", but I've done enough research to know that I am big boned. There is very little fat around my wrists, and in wrapping my fingers around, they don't touch. Either way, this whole mess is the entire reason I haven't told her I'm trying to lose weight.

She's so pushy, and controlling, and then I will feel pressured. I've slipped in hints here and there, but I haven't come right out and told her. And now she knows and her response is I can lose more. Seriously?!? I think I know my body and myself better than she does. I will do what I am comfortable with, and readjust in the future, IF I WANT TO. The next time she says something about it, I'll be having a sit down talk with her. I don't do well with pressure from others. And I hate feeling like I'm being controlled by her.

Anyways, off my soapbox now! I'm feeling pretty positive now, except that the grey skies have me kind of down. It's like this every year. I keep track of how many days it is until Winter Solstice when the days start to get longer and I can actually enjoy some day/sunlight. Give me a month and I'll be thrilled!

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