Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Oh my gosh yesterday wasn't a very good day.

Well, weigh-in last night was 0 pounds gained and 0 pounds lost! Looks to me like I caught my slowly dwindling bad habits just in time before I had a real gain that could’ve taken some time to catch up to. I didn’t end up working out last night, but I kind of have a good reason.

I was invited to a graduation party for my old friend’s husband. She and I haven’t seen each other in about 6 months other than church, and although my sister and I were the two who set her and her husband up. They got married in October of last year, and since then, have gone to (what seems like) great measures to distance themselves from the people who thought they were friends. She, I’ll call her M, and I have known each other since 1st grade, and had been best friends for most of the duration of that time. But over the last 10 years, she “wanted” to be good friends with me, but put literally no effort in maintaining our friendship and it’s tapered to the point of now, where we see each other in church, but don’t talk even there.

I think in the long run, I am sad to lose yet another close friend, yet at the same time, if I am in a friendship with someone, I want them to make some effort to nurture our relationship so it can grow. I would’ve liked (and used to picture us) to be friends until we’re old, with our kids and grandkids being friends, and our families knowing each other. At this point, I am not going to work anymore to try to be close to her, when it seems she doesn’t want that.

Now to the reason I didn’t work out last night, when I got home, I had marvelous plans to eat right and exercise after my weight watchers meeting. But when I got their invitation, as I was reading it, I realized it basically said they’re having a baby (though they didn’t go so far as to actually say it, I’m quite sure that’s what their “other announcement” is about) and it hit me that this person who I used to be so close to, who wanted a career for awhile is going to have a baby, and just ended up in pity-party mode. I mean, pity-party seems to make light of something that makes my heart hurt every time I think of it, but I think I’m trying to not let it get bigger than it already is. I don’t know if I’ll go to the graduation party, because, besides that we really are hardly friends anymore, hearing their announcement might just make me cry and I don’t want to do that. (Why I didn't exercise: I went over to vent to my sister for several hours and didn't get home until 11:15pm.)

Boy, looking at the above, yesterday was kind of a crappy day. Well, here’s the rest. I really love my weight watchers group. The dynamics are really supportive and encouraging, and friendly. Everyone seems to get along really well, and most of the group is interactive, which is one of the best parts of it. I went to the 5:30 a couple of times out of necessity and I really didn’t like it. NO ONE interacted. Every one just sits there with no input, seriously, and NO one smiles; Maybe it’s because they all just got off work, but it was actually depressing to be at that meeting.

Well, last night our leader told us that the regional director person apparently decided to combine all of the 4 Tuesday meetings into 2 meetings. Not only does that combine a ton of people into two meetings, they haven’t specified the times they’ll be having the meetings, and I’m worried that they’ll make the latest one a 5:30, which means I’d have to rush there after work to get there on time. I’m particularly not happy because I like my leader so much that I don’t want to go to a different meeting elsewhere, where the leader may not be someone I enjoy listening to. I know I got lucky the first time I went, that I fit into the group right away and got a fantastic leader, but I don’t think I could be that lucky again, and I really don’t want to have to go to a bunch of different meetings to find someone I like.

Ok. I really am done moping now. Yesterday is done and gone. Time to move on.


  1. I understand about the WW leader, I really like the one that I have. She is funny and has lost a lot of weight. I like our group too, we talk and it is great. Have a great day.

  2. I can totally relate to the loss that comes with growing apart from a friend. I have a few close friends, but I have recently grown apart from some ladies that I thought were good friends. Like you, I cannot continue to reach out to them and to nurture the friendship on my own.

    The one person who continues to reach out to me and clearly wants to build a friendship with me is not someone I want to have that level of relationship with.

    It's bittersweet because I know how much it sucks and hurts to be sort of ignored or turned away, but I can't have this woman in my life as much as she'd like to be(she's borderline nuts).

    I'm dealing with these changes and try so hard to remember the couple of ladies (and my sisters) that are such good friends to me. But I still crave that girl time and feel like there is no one to reach out to right now.

    Hang in there. And don't feel bad about others having babies before you. ALL of our friends have at least one kid, most of them more, and we're still childless. Oh...that's a whole other issue when it comes to building friendships.


  3. We are all entitled to our pity parties. Hang in there girl.