Apparently my vacation didn’t do as much damage as I thought it did. When I weighed myself yesterday morning, the scale said I was at 273.6, which is 2 pounds less than the last time I weighed, so Yay! I’m not doing too bad!
I still haven’t exercised, but I’m working out a plan for myself, that will have me exercising daily. I think at this point I’d like to run. Unfortunately I live in Oregon and it rains so much here, that I’d have to run in a raincoat which doesn’t sound like much fun. I’m in the stages of debating how I’ll work out the logistics here.
And I’m saying right now that I’m going to exercise tonight. No ifs, ands or buts, and you can hold me accountable for it.
Yesterday was a huge struggle for me. For the backstory, in the last 3 weeks, all three of the people I was a caregiver for have passed away. The last was my great uncle, who died on Sunday morning, two hours before I was supposed to watch him. I know yesterday I was feeling very depressed, and extremely down. It seems to be a culmination of those deaths, and the not getting pregnant, and jeff finishing school (and not knowing where our life is going now), and not taking my B vitamins (my mood stabilizers :D), and almost to the middle of my cycle again (I get moody and emotional, not amorous). It all just seemed to hit me, and yesterday, I just sat at work with tears in my eyes.
It was very frustrating to me, that I couldn't seem to get control, and that I didn't know the exact reason that I was crying, and also that I have these things that make me so sad and there's nothing that can be done about them. I am literally at a standstill because none of these things that is bothering me can be changed by any action I take.
I'm doing alot better today, as I took my vitamins, but it still hits me sometimes that I'm sad about these things and they won't change.
Well, that's enough of that. I seem to be depressing myself.
Here's to a better day!
I'm Not Sure I Can Do This
9 hours ago