Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Happy news...

Apparently my vacation didn’t do as much damage as I thought it did. When I weighed myself yesterday morning, the scale said I was at 273.6, which is 2 pounds less than the last time I weighed, so Yay! I’m not doing too bad!

I still haven’t exercised, but I’m working out a plan for myself, that will have me exercising daily. I think at this point I’d like to run. Unfortunately I live in Oregon and it rains so much here, that I’d have to run in a raincoat which doesn’t sound like much fun. I’m in the stages of debating how I’ll work out the logistics here.

And I’m saying right now that I’m going to exercise tonight. No ifs, ands or buts, and you can hold me accountable for it.

Yesterday was a huge struggle for me. For the backstory, in the last 3 weeks, all three of the people I was a caregiver for have passed away. The last was my great uncle, who died on Sunday morning, two hours before I was supposed to watch him. I know yesterday I was feeling very depressed, and extremely down. It seems to be a culmination of those deaths, and the not getting pregnant, and jeff finishing school (and not knowing where our life is going now), and not taking my B vitamins (my mood stabilizers :D), and almost to the middle of my cycle again (I get moody and emotional, not amorous). It all just seemed to hit me, and yesterday, I just sat at work with tears in my eyes.

It was very frustrating to me, that I couldn't seem to get control, and that I didn't know the exact reason that I was crying, and also that I have these things that make me so sad and there's nothing that can be done about them. I am literally at a standstill because none of these things that is bothering me can be changed by any action I take.

I'm doing alot better today, as I took my vitamins, but it still hits me sometimes that I'm sad about these things and they won't change.

Well, that's enough of that. I seem to be depressing myself.

Here's to a better day!


  1. Whoo hoo! 2 lbs less is great!!!

    As for exercise...it can be so hard to force yourself to get into something. Have you tried those Tony Little Express Dvd's I mentioned a while back? 20 minutes and 8 short exercises that you can feel but they dont kill you. And meant to speed up your metabolism by using your large calorie burning muscles. I got back into this past week and i am glad I did! The last i checked you could get ALL of them for like $30 on his website. Let me know if you are interestd and i will look up the site I ordered them from and send it to you.

    I am sorry to hear about your uncle. Hang in there. When times get tough it is hard to focus on ourselves. find some time to do some things that you enjoy doing. hugs...

  2. I'm in Oregon too - and this weather/time of year gets depressing in general. I'm glad I cna go to the gym to use the treadmill or elliptical, but some days I don't even want to do that...which is why I have workout videos at home :)

    Good luck on getting a plan together so you can fit exercise into your routine. I am still working on that too, but doing ok I think.

    I'm sorry to hear about your losses.