Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Oy.

I have found myself really struggling the last couple of months, and especially in the last couple of weeks, while I’m trying to nip my old habits that are easing their way back in, before they cause some real damage. Over the last four weeks (sadly including last night) I’ve had 3 gains and one loss. Oh, they’ve been small gains, 0.2, 0.4 until last night’s which brought me back up to 278 pounds. That’s the most I’ve gained in probably 6 months, and it really bothers me. In fact, it kind of pisses me off, which is good, in that it (I’m hoping) will motivate me to get back on track, but it’s bad in that I’ve worked so hard at not beating myself up, that it feels like it negates all the redirection I’ve done in that area.

Either way, I really feel motivated to be healthier. I actually do. I actually have every single day for the last month. But for some reason, I can do fantastic all day long, but then get home, and despite that I have microwave dinners in the freezer, or despite that I make myself eat a cup of carrots before I can eat or overeat the bad stuff, I still do eat it. Something is making me lack control, and I want to know what it is, that weakens my ability to tell myself no.

Last night after the horrible weigh-in, I talked to my leader who gave me some help and a pamphlet that will hopefully get me back on track. I made the decision last night that I would do this day to day. I will eat well and exercise today. Who cares about tomorrow right now. I’m focusing on one day at a time. I will track everything I eat, and I will stay under my points target today, and I will exercise. Please God let this work!

5 comments:

  1. Hey Laura - Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment for me so I could find you.

    I know exactly how it feels to go overboard with the food even though losing weight is a top priority. Sometimes the food cravings are just stronger than our will to lose. My only suggestion is to try and find some healthy snacks to have at night and keep any trigger foods out of the house. If you really want them, work them into your plan for the day but don't bring them in the house to tempt you. Good luck. I'll be here cheering you on.

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  2. One day at a time is a great way to go Laura. I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I have been there a hundred times. I would make myself drink so much water or diet soda just trying to get a fuller feeling even before I ate so I wouldnt overeat. In my case my appetite was huge. And on my "extra hungry days" I still drink water before I eat. But those days are few and far between now and it is a world of difference. Here is something that I have recently learned along my journey...try to eat every 2-3 hours. A little snack like 100 calories with protein or just something. I was totally shocked when doing Medifast(very low calorie diet) that if you eat the right foods with protein and eat every 2-3 hours that it helps ward off that monstrous hunger feeling that makes me go out of control around dinner time. I used to eat little during the day on WW and try to save up a majority of my points for dinner so I could "enjoy". My husband was forever telling me not to do that. What I heard was "blah blah blah". I hate to say it, but he was right. When I eat something small with protein ever 2-3 hours it really really helps. Just thought i would chime in just in case this could help you too! Keep it up girl. YOu will find what works for you!

    Jennifer
    http://wecanlosethepounds.blogspot.com/

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  3. I like the ONLY focus on today, who cares about tomorrow. I really hope it works for you too. Smile.

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  4. i know exactly what it's like to lose it at the end of the day and go crazy in the kitchen, you have dinner right there.. and that giant bowl of crap is right under your nose, taunting you until you eat it! bahhh!!
    one thing that helps me sometimes is to work out as soon as i get home... then i kind of feel like i earned my dinner :)

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  5. OH YEA btw.. they had that peanut butter thing at Whole Foods too where you can make it yourself! i was picturing myself standing under it like they do on TV with the slushie machines.. LMAO

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